Empty Freedom

Ever feel stuck with where your life is at or going? Ever feel like all you do is go to work and go home. Not really go anywhere because you can’t afford to. That’s the way it felt after I was let go from my last job. Free from the toxicity of the workplace but stuck with little to no money coming in. Being a single parent was even worst. You feel like you failed your children. Yea the emptiness of all that and trying to rebuild.

After I was let go from the agency I went in panic mood. Every day I would apply to almost everything out there. However, I got nowhere except part-time at a bank. As grateful for that as I was, I needed more than part-time. So, I kept applying everywhere however nothing. Fear, panic and desperation started to sink in. I was so desperate I signed up for a course for coding front end. While I worked on it for a bit, however I could not really get into it. I got lock in on a 10,000 loan for that course. I was sold empty dreams with the way they pitched it. What was I thinking right. Well, I was thinking I could really do it.

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Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months. I felt like I was drowning a fear of isolation. Just work home, work home like an endless loop. It was even getting to my son school home school home. I kept thinking to myself something has to change. Something needs to change to break this cycle. Though as much as that was going around and around in my head. I would numb myself with an old 80s show called Simon and Simon.

As I watched Simon and Simon something started to manifest. I started to get really in toned with the character AJ Simon, Andrew Jackson Simon. Well, it was more like the actor who played him. I started too really pay attention to him in the show. I also looked into the events and his career after the show. I didn’t know it then, but something was drawing me to him, Jameson Parker. For months I would watch that show and some of Jamesons other works. He became fascinating to me. Like I was looking into someone familiar.

Remember back in my first piece how I came to the awakening of being a natural witch. Well, that awaking didn’t come overnight. While I was coming into my awakening, I rediscovered something I long forgot. Watching Simon and Simon and looking into Jameson Parkers life after the show help. Weird I know but allow me to explain. While going through Parker’s life after the show I found something interesting. I found he transitioned from actor to writer.

I learned he started a blog and wrote articles for different magazines. He also wrote a Memoir. The Memoir was a telling story about how he survived a shooting and depression from the shooting. As I read the Memoir I started to feel more like I can get out of my situation. I mean if he could do it so can I.

Even with the deep dive into Jameson Parker, I still kept watching the show. It was like the universe was trying to tell me something and I had to kept watching until it clicked. From July 2025 to January 2026, I would watch the show on and off. Until one evening it dawned on me. Jameson’s character in the show had a middle name, Jackson. I named my son Jackson from another show that had a character named Jackson. I have always wanted to be a writer you know with a blog or book. Jameson went from actor to writer. During my silent hour I found my childhood diary from when I was 11 1996. In the diary I wrote how I wanted to be a writer. Right, there I found the connection with everything.

I probably wouldn’t have caught that connection if not for my awakening. Everything started to make sense. The weight felt like it left my chest. I then started looking into developing my writing. I looked into if my writing was my way out of this empty freedom, I found myself in. Could my writing set me free? Could a successful blog or books bring me out of the abyss of generational poverty and chang my fortune? Feel free to subscribe to see.